Marrying a foreign national
I know that people have plenty of questions regarding Filipinas marrying foreign nationals. There are many factors that Filipinas do not really care about in terms of marriage and relationships.
What I have found is that cultures differ drastically on each issue. Some issues that really matter to foreigners may not matter much to Filipinos (and vice versa). For example, to most American women under age 25, marrying a guy over 40 is a HUGE issue, but for filipinas what matters more is the guys background and stability not his age.
We have received a lot of questions about foreigners marrying Filipinas. This post is a collection of those questions and their answers.
photo from: loveme.com
Does age matter to filipinas? People say Filipinas marry guys of all ages. Yes! that is true. Why? Filipinas do not really make it an issue to marry a guy who is twice her age. Filipinas typically date a guy not for his age but for the potential of being with a man who can be a provider. Generally, for a woman to give stability in her home, she needs a stable partner. It may sound simple but this is a missing element in the Philippines. A huge portion of men in the Philippines cannot (or will not) provide for their family. That is the main reason why Filipinas started marrying foreigners.
Are Filipinas gold diggers? Just like any other nationality, there are are some bad apples. Some foreigners have a bad perception of Filipinas because negative actions of a few. Decades ago, when Americans came to the Philippines they were meeting bar girls. Many bar girls are gold diggers. So getting married is more of a business transaction and love has nothing to do with it.
How can you tell if your Filipina is real? There are a few ways that you can tell if your Filipina is real. For one thing, if she does not ask for money immediately upon meeting you! Lol I think this should be obvious. This happens a LOT online due the unbelievable number of scammers. Second, you know she is real if she makes her self available anytime you call, message, or email. If your Filipina does not disappear for a day or two without contact that means it is real. Third, if your Filipina always asks “did you eat?” or “What did you eat?” I know it sounds strange, but in the Philippines it shows that someone really cares about you. Filipinas who loves their partners will seldom miss that question every single day.
Is providing money to your Filipina part of the culture? No it is not. However, if your Filipina is very poor in the Philippines, then yes it may be necessary to provide for her so she won’t starve to death. Unfortunately, poverty is rampant due to over population, corruption and calamities. You can only understand the level of poverty if you have been there.
Do Filipinas like black guys? No. I am sorry to tell you this but they just don’t like dating black guys. They are not turned on by black guys. Many would prefer white guys. It is just their preference of a guy. It is not that Filipinas are racist. Mainly the reason for this is many Filipinas are brown skin and they want to have lighter skin. So they love to see people with white skin as it is rare. In the Philippines, when a person has lighter skin, it is cool and it means they are from upper class since it used to be that laborers are always exposed to the sun. It used to be an indicator that you are from the lower class. BUT there is a few who are insanely into black guys exclusively. So there are a few who date black guys and love black people’s skin color and appearance. It’s funny that black music and style is popular in the Philippines but filipinas prefer their guys to be as white as possible. It is like that in most of South East Asia. We talk more about this here.
”When you marry a Filipina, You marry her family too ”. In many lower income families, “when you marry a filipina, you marry her family” becomes the truth. This is bad because the family will expect the guy to help them out too which can jeopardize the relationship and give an extremely bad impression of the bride. What complicates things is that family is a HUGE part of filipino culture. Many fathers expect more from their daughters than their sons so when they get married their fathers are involved. Which means that if the father won’t like the suitor then their is no future for that love affair. And if they don’t like the groom a wedding might get canceled or dads won’t give their blessing to their daughters. For filipinas, it is very important because we respect our parents very much. We believe that a permission and blessing from parents will bring us luck and guidance in getting married.
Last but not the least, ”FIlipinas marry all kinds of races”. It is true. Color of skin preferences aside, Filipino people are very open to other races and nationalities. Unlike some other countries there is not huge underlying racist tones in the culture so you find a lot of racially mixed people overwhelmingly accepted in the Philippines. If you look at the history of the the Philippines, it is clear how it became so mixed. You will see variations of Chinese, Spanish, Japanese, Americans, Greeks, Europeans and more. Filipino are curious about other cultures.