Dating a filipina

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Top 3 things not to do on an online dating site

3 things NOT to do on dating sites

We met on a dating site!  We are very much in love so for us it was a huge success.  We had to spend a LOT of time on more than one dating site.  Between the two of us we probably use about 20 different dating sites and met 100’s of people to find the right person.  We have learned a LOT about what not to do on dating sites.  Here are the top three things not to do:

  1. Do not send money – If someone you meet is asking for money after meeting on a dating site there is a very, very good chance that it is a scam.  ESPECIALLY, if they are from a developing country.  DO NOT send money to someone you just met on a dating site.  It sounds obvious, but the thing is these people are pretty slick.  They earn your trust and sympathy and then they ask for you help as a “friend”.  This is a dating site not a charity.  How can they afford the cost of electricity, computer, Internet and/or internet cafe but have to ask you for money?
  2. Do not get serious until you meet in person – There are exceptions to this rule.  We know people who have been in a relationship for years and not actually met in person yet.  But most people need to meet.  There is a certain chemistry that you need if you are planning on spending your life with someone.  There are many small things that you won’t notice until you meet in person.  And some people are completely different in person than they are online.
  3. Do not believe photos. Request video chat – Do not be fooled by pictures!  It is just too easy to fake.  A common practice is to use glamour shots of another person and upload them all on the profile.  You MUST see them on video chat, live in real time.  Not a recording but a live, real-time video chat.  So you know they are who they say they are.  If they make excuses as to why they cannot meet you, then something is up.

There are a lot of scammers making a living from romance scams.  This is has become such a popular thing to do that it even has a name, “catfishing” it is where you  lure (someone) into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona.  Do not fall for this.

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Filipinas Expectations challenge of dating filipina 5

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Thumbnail:courtesy of ctvnews.ca

Filipinas are expected to do everything. Many times they are the main breadwinner in the whole family. They have a burden that is huge! For this reason, they seek a man who has stability. Emotional, financial and mental stability over any other qualities. So more mature (usually older) guys are highly valued.

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Dating Filipina Bar Girls challenge of dating filipina 2

Dating Filipina Bar Girls challenge of dating filipina 2

Thumbnail courtesy of: subic bay bar girls

Why do guys automatically think they can convert a bar girl? Are all bar girls bad? Why do bar girls have a bad reputation? Does that reputation affect all filipinas?

The opinions expressed in this video do not reflect ALL filipinas who used to be bar girls. This is based on the limited experiences of Yuri and Bruce and is only one possible aspect of women who used to work in bars.

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Challenge of Dating a Filipina

challenge of dating a filipina 1

There is a pretty popular post on Youtube called “Top 10 Reasons Why Not Marry a Filipino Woman” by Ian Patrick.  It is a very negative view of filipinas, basically calling all filipinas “gold diggers”.  Here are some of the reasons Ian mentioned:

  1.  You will be treated like an ATM
  2. You may love her but you love will not be reciprocated
  3. You will never experience peace or contentedness
  4. Your children will be exploited (treated as “rich foreign cousin”)
  5. They are two faced
  6. They are verbally abusive and violent
  7. They have a loyalty to their family never to you and your family
  8. They are not trustworthy
  9. Divorce is the likely outcome once they have a visa

We have been married since 2014 and Yuri now has a US Visa.  We are still very happily married.  Money has not been an issue.

Here is the video:

For us, the opposite of all these things are true!  Of course some guys have experienced these terrible things and would agree.  But why is that?

The reason is that some people are bad.  With filipina in particular there is a high probability of issues dealing with money and family because of the terrible issues with poverty in the Philippines.

We talk about the challenges of dating a filipina here:

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Do Filipinas Like Black Guys

filipinas like black

We have been asked by many black guys if filipinas like black men.  The answer is yes and no.  Some do some don’t.  The truth is love transcends all colors and countries.  People will judge us no matter what we look like or what we do, so why not be happy with our choices and live life fully and completely.  Race is such a small part of what we truly are.

The thumbnail image on the front of this video is of a great black and filipina couple we know who are now very happily married!

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A proper date with a filipino girl

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Many of my readers contact me on facebook asking for advice on their love lives and girls they have met online. They also ask for my advice on dating a filipina and how to behave. Many of them are preparing to go the Philippines to travel around and meet women whom they can potentially have a deeper relationship with.  So I figured sharing this article will also help other men who might get a filipina girlfriend or wife.  We will explore questions such as:

  • What should you do to not offend your filipina date?
  • How should you behave to successfully impress and pleased the woman?

Focus on what you want.  If you are going to the Philippines with no intention of getting serious, then places like Angeles, Subic Bay, Manila or Cebu can cater to your needs.  A bar girl on the job will entertain and treat you nice.  For her it’s all about business.  If you are looking for something more serious then do not look in a gogo bar for a bar girl on duty. Find a girl online before you go and treat her like you would want to be treated by the partner of your dreams.   If you have to pay the girl to be with you, then it’s not a relationship, it’s business.  Do not confuse love for business or business for love.

courtesy of idiva.com
courtesy of idiva.com

1. How should you behave during your date?  Just be yourself, but don’t be rude.  One of the most offensive things  you can do is to look at other women while you are on a date.  If you hope to have an awesome relationship, or even just get laid your chances are diminished if you are constantly checking out another woman’s assets.  Have discipline.  Would it be ok for her to flirt with other guys or check out other men’s “packages” after you just paid for dinner and a trip for two in Boracay?  If she is, then move on  #thesehoesaintloyal.

 

photo from gifs.cc
photo from gifs.cc

2. Walking too fast.  Filipinas do not walk so fast, so if you leave her behind because you are used to walking fast, she might feel bad.

 

 

 

3. Filipinas are mostly submissive.  If you ask her where she want to eat, most of them will say “up to you”.  They are trying to be polite.  Many filipinas are very, very submissive due to upbringing.  You should not take this the wrong way or try to abuse your position. For example, don’t be over bearing with the date.  Be open enough let her choose so she knows that her feelings, preferences and desires COUNT.  This will win MAJOR points.  If you can empower her, you are giving her a feeling no one else can and she will worship you because of it (if she is a good woman).  Another thing you can do to win points is to be interested in her culture.  Try the food of her country, try to learn her language.  If you are offered an exotic food that you do not think you can eat, refuse politely. If you do not like the filipino food, suggest that you want eat something American or european food.

 

4.dating-a-filipina Being a gentleman is a huge plus. Filipino girls are drawn to gentlemen. Who will open doors for her, ask her and make her decide where to go.  Remember, empowerment works. And when you display it, you will be seen as a real prize, a rare precious gem that other women will literally try to steal.

 

5. After a few dates.  if you feel you really like each other, ask her to become your girlfriend. Don’t leave it hanging in between as “friends with benefits” because that will mean you are not interested in anything but sex. And she will decide to step out of immediately.

courtesy of clarkisit.com
courtesy of clarkisit.com

6. Prostitution.  If you are dating a conservative not very open minded filipina, do not be very opinionated about how rampant the prostitution is in the Philippines because even though it exists, it is a sensitive topic there.  It is the equivalent of talking about god, politics or race in the United States or talking bad about the royal family in UK or Thailand. It is a controversial topic in the the Philippines.  If you have had a sex with prostitutes before, it is better not to mention it because that might change her mind about keeping you.

7. Do not commit if you do not feel like she is the one. There is always trial and error in dating.  You might meet crazy ones, suspected scammers or some that you are just not compatible with.  It just means you have to back out quickly. You might meet a gold digger which will empty your pocket.

8. Traditional Filipinas. There are some very traditional filipinas that are from the provinces. If you meet this type of filipino girl, you can’t have sex without marrying her.  If you are really serious and think she is the one, then marrying her is your only option to take things further.

9.dating-a-filipina Religion. If you are not Christian or you do not have religion.  Just be polite. Do not talk crap about religion because many filipinas are very religious.  According to wiki research, 90 % of the entire population of the Philippines is Christian faith(mainly Roman Catholic).

10. Talking Nasty around guy friends. For most filipinas who are conservative, talking about sexual things around friends is offensive.  So it is better to avoid a conversation like that so you don’t end up in a petty argument.

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dating tips for men seeking for filipina

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If you are really serious about finding your pinay lover, you must have patience and perseverance to find the right one.  Dating a filipina and finding your match will not be an easy task.  With both offline and online dating, you have to take your time to get to know your filipina before taking the next step.

Some guys rush in and end up in a very bad situation.  They can end up with a scammer, or a partner who is already committed to one or more other guys or a very selfish person. Some very bad filpinas only hook up with a guy to marry for a trip to the US, Canada or Europe. So let’s sort out things that you have to consider when looking for filipinas that you you want to get serious with.

  • Which website should you go to? Online dating is by far the best place to look, but what sites should you go to?  So far, I would say you can go to filipinocupid, christian dating websites, date in asia, cebuanas.com or cherryblossoms.com. But beware of the scammers. There are a LOT on all of these sites.  They are everywhere. They continuously scam foreign guys.  Some make a pretty good living off of it giving a bad reputation to all filipinas.  But if you keep looking, you will find some diamonds in the rough.dating-tips
  • Are there real girls on online dating sites? Yes, there are.  My husband and I met on one of these dating sites.  It took a lot of trial and error for both of us to find each other.  Since we found each other we have been very happy.  Don’t lose hope.   My husband was on filipinocupid for a year before we met and has been scammed multiple times.  But you can avoid that from happening to you by being precautions.dating-tips3
  • How long should you talk to the girl before committing? You should keep talking to the filipina for a few months before committing of anything serious.  Take time to really get to know the person.  You have to know what they are all about, what type of a person they are and if they fit into what you are looking for a woman.  You should meet her in person before you really start committing.  At the very least you should see her on video.
  • Dealing with Poverty of the Philippines.  One huge issue in the Philippines is the poverty.  Many of the women looking for foreign guys are trying to get out of the terrible situation many average Filipinos are in.  You will understand when you visit.  Just because ladies want a man with financial stability does not mean they are all scammers.  A question that I get a lot is, how long should you wait till you start sending money? As I said, wait for a couple of months, talk to her continuously. Then you should be able to determine if she is real and if it is right to send her money. dating-tips (2)
  • Other Option besides dating sites.  If dating sites are too much hassle, another thing you can do is to ask friends or family if they know any good girls they can hook you up with.

Other dating tips:

  • Get straight to the point. When talking to the woman get straight to the point of what you want to happen and what you feel.  What are your thoughts? Do not say that you are looking for a wife if you are not ready to commit.

    photo from ibchannel.tv
    courtesy of ibchannel.tv
  • Be honest. Do not sugarcoat your stories to impress the woman. It is better to be honest with your real situation, your status of relationship, your age and even on your finances because when you hide it, it will come up later and it will not end nicely.
  • Keep Your Options Open. That means talk to women without promising them anything. That way you will know which one is best for you.  It can also help you see which filipina you can communicate for a long time and can get along with in all types of topic.dating-tips
  • Wishy washy mind. Being in the Philippines with so many beautiful women might make you distracted.  If you committed to one but find another interesting filipina, you should make up your mind.  Nothing is wrong with not committing to one woman but don’t lie about commiting if that is not your intent.  Do not complicate your life unnecessarily.
  • Settle. Once you have fully decided and met the right woman. Settle for that one woman. Keep the diamond and stop hopping into stones. It is like a one time opportunity. You have to be ready to accept that opportunity. Once it comes, grab it immediately.

That’s all for now, I hope all you guys will find your diamond. And good luck on your treasure hunt! lol.

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dating a filipina

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written by a US guy who has dated filipinas (edit Yuri S.)

I have had mix results while dating filipinas.  I cannot say that dating a filipina was any worse or better than dating an American woman.  There are somethings that were better and somethings that were worse.

The positive side of dating a filipina is that they are very loving and go way overboard with trying express love to you… if she is really into you.  In the US this is sometimes called “clingy” and MANY guys do not like it at all.  In fact, it even has a famous meme called “overly attached girlfriend”

Overly Attached Girlfriend dating a filipina
Overly Attached Girlfriend dating a filipina

For me, dating a very attached filipina is a plus, because if she is really into you, YOU become her world and she is constantly looking for ways to express her feelings.  When you let her know you understand and feel the same way, then the relationship blooms to something truly amazing.  Of course, if you don’t want things to “bloom” then Overly Attached filipina girlfriend just seems crazy.  Filipinas are very, very loving.  Their dedication to their man and their family is what makes them the best.

Watch out for date scammers

The downside is that some filipino women are not real with foreigners).  I mean, there are a lot of con-artists.  The problem is that there are Very clever women that scam online, create a romance scam, or just say and do anything to get your financial support.  I am talking about cases in which the love is just not real or maybe there is SOME love but its overshadowed by lies.  Often, the filipina already has a guy (or two).  She was hurt in the past and has a hard time being really in love and vulnerable again so she keeps another guy as a back up plan.  In some cases she is just a cold hearted liar created by the impoverished circumstances of her upbringing or past exes that mistreated her.  Whatever her story is for being that way, you cannot hope to change her without getting hurt over and over by her.  And you have the misfortune of falling for her trap.  In these cases, its not really “dating a filipina” its falling into a scammers trap.  Its happened to me more than once with filipinas but I know its not restricted to just the Philippines.  Don’t be discouraged they are not all like this.

The legitimate filipinas I dated were very, very dedicated, very sweet and very giving.  Looking back on my experiences, I wonder how could I have determined which girls were real, and which ones were fake.  After all sometimes the scammers are very smooth.. they don’t ask for money until they establish a relationship or they never ask but fake a condition where you will feel obligated to ask them if they need help.

Why you SHOULD try dating a filipina

Looking back, I would say that it is actually pretty obvious overtime.  You will know her true intent by her actions.  If she is secretive, not showing video or very many pictures, or cannot give you time or has an extremely sorted past with evil actions, or keeps lying about small things, then you should be suspicious.  If you look at her intentions, you start to see what she is really all about.  The number one rule, is don’t give trust to easily.  If you are dating a filipina consider her situation and be realistic.  Meet her IN PERSON before you make any serious commitment and even then, take your time.

With time you will see that a REAL filipina will always put you first.  She will sometimes seem more concerned for you than for herself.  She will go out of her way to make you happy if she really loves you.

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