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Relationship advice for couples: go on dates


Relationship advice for couples… go on dates!

Even though we are married, we still go on dates every now and then so we can keep things interesting.  For us, it can be simple like going out on a date.  We do things that we know the other person will like.  We serve each other.


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Relationship advice for couples… go on dates!


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5 Keys for a Successful Relationship

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We have been through some bad relationships, but we finally got it right. Here are our 5 keys to success.

  1.  Communication.  You have to trust your partner enough to open up and express your feeling to them.  But you also have to listen to them when they need you.  Don’t make assumptions about what you think they feel.  Don’t let bad feeling fester.
  2. Put your Partner first.  Think about what they need.  Think about how they feel and how you can make them better.  Put their feelings and needs first and a good partner will return the favor.  Even small expressions of putting your partner first mean a lot.
  3. Put 100% effort.  Do your best in the relationship.  Relationships do take effort to make them good and solid.
  4. Take your time to understand your partner.  Understand their background, their attitude, there culture so that you can understand their needs and wants.
  5. Be a Team.  You are in this together so you should both be focused on goals together.  Have a vision for what you want your lives to be like together.  Let your strengths empower your team.

These 5 things have really helped us to have a better life.  It has been very rewarding to serve each other.  And life is much easier to get through.

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6 Steps for Exiting an Unsuccessful Relationship

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What do you do if you are in a relationship that is not working?  You dedicated yourself to someone who is really not committed to the relationship.  You put 100% in but your partner is in treating you bad.  How do you know when it is time to call it quits and what do you do once you decide to break up.  We know a little bit about this.  We have both been through very hard relationships, but here is what we did to set things right.

Step 1.  Be Emotionally and Mentally Prepared.  Ask yourself “Can you see yourself with this person in the next 5 years?” Can you stand 5 more years of being with this person?  If the answer is no, then you should consider your options.  What are you going to do?  What do you want it to be like in 5 years?

Step 2.  Checklist of Pros and Cons.  To make sure that you are about to make the right decision, make a list of the good and bad about this person.  If the bad out weighs the good, you have a good reason to move on.  If there is a enough good to hang on to, consider staying.

Step 3.  Know the Law.  If you are divorcing with kids, you need to know what the state says about that.  If you are an immigrant that came to the US on a k1 and on a green card, make sure you know what the law says if you want to get US citizenship.  Ask people who have gone through what you are about to do.

Step 4.  Setup your Finances.  Get your OWN bank account (not a joint account).  Find a way to get your OWN income into that account.

Step 5.  Resources.  Be realistic about what you will need to survive on your own.  You will need transportation, shelter, food, utilities and basic living expenses.  Calculate how much you will need and determine if there will be enough.

Step 6.  Start Looking.  DO NOT rush into a new relationship.  But start looking for a new one.  Psychologically, it will help you really move on.  Keep your eyes open for something new.


In conclusion, it is best that your current relationship works out, but you have to be honest with yourself.  If there is really no way for things to change for the better, why would you plan on staying in a bad situation that is likely to get worse if you are already unhappy.  If you know for sure your spouse is not going to change for the better, if you can see that things are getting worse, or if your spouse is being abusive physically, mentally, emotionally then do not waste your time.  If you have already tried talking, you have opened yourself up to make things work but you find you are not happy (or even hateful) with the person, then it is time to move on.


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