My coworker has been looking for a date online. Unfortunately, it did not go well. But hopefully she will keep trying.
Response from Lu & Toiya: Me and Lu are literally sitting here discussing this video right now… After careful consideration and MUCH back-and-forth discussion with each other… side by side, we co-wrote this together: From what we observe, it seems like your friend isn’t “up on game”.
Is she Phil-AM? Only asking because we don’t have “courting” here or any of that stuff. It’s a damn JUNGLE out here. Does she have any experience dealing with young, good looking “in demand” guys? She fell for the ol’ MGTOW / Pick up artist move. This was a classic “hit it and quit it”. Player handbook (chapter one).
In, 2017.. ESPECIALLY when dating online from the dating sites like Tinder etc, she needs to be aware that things are not the same as they are in more conservative countries or even as they were in the U.S.only a few years ago. Daters online can NOT assume that the girls and guys they meet online are necessarily looking for a “life partner” or “soul mate”. A majority of young people these days are all about “hook up culture” by default. Even if a guy SAYS that he is looking for the same thing you are when you are 1st meeting them… that could just be “Game”. She should take all that “telling her what I think she wants to hear” stuff with a grain of salt in the initial stages. She is looking for a “Tall, good looking, professional white guy”… chances are, his profile gets at LEAST 3 hits a day from girls just like her. For all she knows she could just be a “notch” on his “belt”. ….”lets go out for coffee, said the spider, to the fly”… When he says “you’re too good for me” and “we don’t have chemistry” after chasing the kitty-cat for 2 weeks and then “scoring”… what he REALLY means is: “I’m at the T.H.O.T. stages of my life and don’t want to be tied down to one girl right now” The guy knew he had “chemistry” with her the minute he saw her profile pic. For women “chemistry” is like: “when I look into his eyes I can see forever, purple sunsets and the father of my children” For men, “Chemistry” is basically: “damn, she fine”. Guys need MORE than just “chemistry” to commit in any meaningful way. The guy “dipped” on her NOT because her and the guy didn’t have “chemistry” it was because he felt pressure to commit and wasn’t feelin’ it. Putting it bluntly and with all due respect…. “he’s just wasn’t that into her” Critique over… Solution time: We know plenty of happily married couples who met online but it was only after they developed the skills to recognize potential in a person that they were meeting. AKA “Vetting”. Her main obstacle is not WHERE she is finding the guy, it’s about her VETTING. She is not up on game enough to properly vet these guys she’s meeting. If she keeps doing like she’s doing she’s going to get “got” time and time again. until she learns more about how young American guys and young American girls in the current dating scene “play the dating game”, and until she has enough experience in recognizing BS she needs a “middle person” to vet these guys BEFORE she even starts thinking about going forward with dating for marriage. she should stay offline for now (at least for a while) because her vetting skills aren’t on the level to tell the playboys from the squares and her preference for the guy with the best looking profile pick WILL set her up for failure until she knows what she’s doing in regards to recognizing personality traits and intentions. a better approach would be to have a guy friend who cares about her or a girl friend who has her back introduce her to someone who THEY have already vetted as a good guy. And then open her mind to giving those guys that her friends chose a chance. also, she should not set her “looks” bar so high. Simply put: Guys who look for the “hottest” girl tend to run into gold diggers. Girls who look for the “tallest, hottest guy” tend to run into players. No offence, but looking for the guy with the best looking profile pic on a dating site is like looking for the prettiest horse on the cock carousel. (please excuse our language, we’re just trying to be franc, sincere and helpful) She needs to focus on character FIRST. Sometimes those “nice guys” she might have put in “Friend Zone” might be the best potential long term loves but she might be overlooking those guys. (big mistake) before she goes to church looking for love she might want to take a 2nd look at the “nice guys” inside her own social circle. (even if the DON’T look like Magic Mike)
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